Hello, I’m Kelly, and I’m a Recovering Perfectionist. Or, I want to be a good recovering perfectionist. Or rather, I will begin my recovery when I’ve discovered the perfect and best way to go about it….
As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to do things the “right” way. I’m a fairly black-and-white thinker to begin with, and it doesn’t help that I was indoctrinated to think that way by countless multiple-choice tests that were the only determiners of grade in my public school education. I will say one good thing I’ve taken from that is the tendency to observe and take note, as I’m working on a task, how I could improve my method next time. But I’ve also developed that age-old perfectionist tendency to delay beginning a task until I know I can do it perfectly from start to finish. My husband has been tremendously therapeutic for this malady, in his very helpful and easy attitude, willing to eat the meal that “tastes just like bad gravy on a Goodyear tire,” as the Brad Paisley lyric goes. His assertion of “I defend my right to make my own mistakes and learn from them,” has transformed my perspective on performance and failure. As a result, I have been much more willing to experiment and try things I’ve never done before, and my cooking, for one, has greatly improved. I would even go so far as to say it’s pretty good, and for my own commentary on my performance, that’s saying a lot.
However. This blog is now published, on display for all to see. I am now subjecting my writing, my life, my thoughts and opinions, to the scrutiny and commentary of others. My very first reaction is paralysis, writing half-posts that I can’t seem to finish. But my next reaction is resolution. Part of the reason I decided to blog was to see my writing improve, perhaps to regain some level of thoughtful expression I held as recently as three years ago, before my children arrived. Another reason was to begin networking and making friends with others who share interests or who are in the thick of life seasons I’m just peering into right now (mostly homeschooling), both to learn from others and help them if I can. If I allow my perfectionist tendencies (remember, I am recovering!) to paralyse me, I am denying those blessings.
So here goes. I’m going to hit “Publish” and begin to open up and blog. And please, do comment, I’d love to make new friends and learn some new things. Just, um, be nice to me, at least at first. And I promise not to edit your comments to correct spelling and punctuation.
Posted on January 30th, 2007 by Dove
Filed under: Learning
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