In the world of adoptive parenting, the term “preferential adopters” generally refers to those who adopt before having biological children. Another definition says they are those who adopt for reasons other than infertility. Still another definition says they prefer adoption to birthing as a means of adding children to a family.
None of these definitions satisfies me. E and I would be termed preferential adopters, because we adopted before having biological children and we have no fertility issues. But by no means do we prefer one method over another for having more children. I resent the value judgments implied by those who use the term. “Preference” implies a matter of taste, everone’s entitled to their own, but supercilious attitudes tend to accompany the tastes (as is common in America). Either we prefer adoption because we think the world is overpopulated and it’s selfish to become a parent through birth, or “Oh, you poor thing, you must be infertile,” and I want to scream at the idea that infertility is the only reason I would choose to parent kids whose DNA isn’t half mine.
We adopted because… well, why not? We want lots of children and lots of children need families. We birthed children because… well, why not? We want a lot of children and we’re capable of conceiving and birthing children. Each route has its pros and cons, but in our eyes they’re equally legitimate. We plan to do more of both.
Posted on September 25th, 2007 by Dove
Filed under: Fostering/Adoption
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